Category: Today

  • Layers Of Black

    Layers Of Black

    More Than What Greets The Eye

    The layers of black are many. I realized over the last few days how beautiful the color black is. Minus the black heart I referred to in the poem un-tied. Nonetheless black resembles the night. Animals even love the night. There is a level of safety mixed with a level of danger in the night. It feels good to go to a busy well lit park that sits over the ocean at night. The night provides privacy that is either used to do good or evil. You are either in peace or at war at night. In the animal world hunting is more exercised at night. The joys of camping reach its best moments at night. There is something about the night that eases anxiety. This is only in settings where you feel safe. On the opposite end the night can increase anxiety.

    I remember dark nights getting off of the bus walking alone. My anxiousness would be through the roof. When I finally reached home I then would sit on the porch in my safety nest and enjoy the peace of the night. Laying out looking at the stars and the moon just makes things quiet in your mind. Your own thoughts become a vibe. It’s like you are still thinking but the thoughts are so gentle that it feels like you are not. The layers of black fits every occasion. Business attire loves black. Gothic loves black. Even funerals love black. Which makes me think why is a beautiful color like black so sad in a way. One reason I guess is because there is danger associated with the color.

    Safe & Dangerous

    Nevertheless there is also safety associated with black. Have you ever heard of a little black dress? If you are going for sexy but also trying to slim down it is the dress of choice. It is safe because the color slims you down but it is dangerous because it is little. Ladies by the way you will get more respect by throwing away the little black dresses. I just had to throw that in there because I believe that we should dress with a level of respect for ourselves. Guns are black in most cases and also carry a level of danger and safety. You won’t see too many people with a white gun. In human designs white colors are used to represent pure and clean. Which makes sense because stains can easily be seen on white.

    If I am being honest white really does represent a level of purity. I can’t really agree that black represents danger but sixty five percent of it does. The remaining thirty five percent represent peace and safety. Still, I do have a question. Have you ever seen a black or a white human? I know I haven’t. Both of these beautiful colors represent different things. Racism decided to put color labels onto humans. All to brainwash the world into thinking that Caucasian people are pure and African Americans are dangerous. I do think that some designs like all black at funerals are used to make the color black seem depressing and sad. Death is one of the saddest realizations.

    Programming The Masses

    With the color black being associated with so much disparity, giving a black label to African Americans is programming the masses to associate a certain group with disparity. It is a subtle meditation that programs a group to play out the role of hopelessness. Furthermore this enables the attempts of placing “black” people at the bottom. Like many have pointed out before in other countries people are not defined by such labels. In Mexico their people are Mexican. In Jamaica their people are Jamaican. Nonetheless, in Africa their people are African. In Europe their people are European. Notwithstanding, in Japan their people are Japanese.

    Now why is it that in America people are being labeled with labels that strip away all culture? Many African Americans have stated that they prefer not to be called a black person. Why won’t America listen to these concerns? America has these labels in place to keep the world brainwashed. Black and white people don’t exist. Give those colors back to purpose. America if you don’t have a name for your people; why didn’t you just call all of them Americans? I am sure that labeling people as black and white was a well thought out plan in America’s racism. Personally with all of the mental and physical abuse that has been done on the citizens of America; I would rather African Americans and Caucasian Americans come up with their own labels for what they want to be known as.

    No Longer Needing Acceptance

    Then again why did they need to come up with black and white people; when African American and Caucasian American clearly makes more sense. Due to America’s history of racism I understand why we can’t all just be American; too much hurt is there. At this point, I would be ashamed to be American. Still, America’s labeling of black and white is practicing racism. The layers of black are many. So often the purity in black is never acknowledged, but always subconsciously seen. Since these labels have been placed on African American people to cause harm; I would say, never underestimate the layers of black.

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  • Bright Green

    Bright Green

    Looking Forward To Better Days

    Grey, beige, and a bright green sits around me making a circle. It is like knowing there are better days ahead which are bright green; while grey and beige feels like I am just out of place but in place at the same time. Still, that green is so bright and pretty. Grey and beige have taught me so much though. It’s like there is no green without grey and beige. The green is like the color of a Granny Smith apple. So gentle but so bright. Also it is just so light on the belly.

    A Weird Nightmare

    Grey and beige is like a weird nightmare. It’s one of the odd nightmares. You know how when you have nightmares where you get into a fight. In these fights for whatever reason you are fighting in slow motion and it seems impossible to win. Then there are the every once in a while dreams where you just beat the hell out of your enemy lol. This grey and beige is like that. When I have dreams I usually realize I am dreaming while dreaming. So I know that usually I am not able to move that fast. Therefore it surprises me that the version of me in the dream is winning like that.

    The Most High Runs The Show

    It’s a grey and a beige that I know the Most High has all control of. Grey and beige are being used against itself to cancel each color out. Grey and beige are serving its purpose. Which is a very necessary purpose. I don’t like it; but yet it has revealed so many new things to me. When I really think about it I feel bad for grey and a little for beige. As grey and beige attacks me; I feel bad that there is nothing I can do to take it to the bright green with me. It hates bright green. If it made it to the bright green it would only devise plans to destroy it.

    I Care But It Is Out Of My Hands

    It makes my stomach sink a little knowing that grey and beige will always be followers of red. Grey and beige can not see how to thrive in the midst of green. I just wonder what could have been done differently to free grey and beige of its own prison. It is like grey and beige can only see red. Therefore confusing itself into trying to destroy green. Green and red are enemies. Red has attempted to destroy the reputation of green many many times. Red despises that green represents the trees, grass, plants, herbs and many earthly things. The versions of red that are a main focus is a cut in the skin, or an injury of some sort. It’s like in some ways red reminds you of a loss.

    Focused On The Wrong Things

    Every time red looks at green it is pissed. So red attempted to destroy greens reputation by creating money. Money is a root of all evil. I always wonder why red didn’t just maximize the beauty that it can bring to the world. Red has gifts. One of the many gifts of red are all of the healthy fruits that are red. Let’s not forget the beauty of a red rose. The most beautiful role that red plays is a woman’s ability to conceive. Which is a menstrual cycle. You see red has only focused on the negatives of a menstrual cycle not realizing that without one you can not bring life into the world. I just wish that red could see its value. Then maybe it will stop trying to destroy green.

    Red Used You

    Green and red have two different purposes; but red will never be able to see its purpose. Red has recruited grey and beige to work on its behalf. Grey and beige are hypnotized by red. The thing is, red loves no one. The future for grey and beige is despair because every color that follows red has a terrible ending. I can’t take you to the green with me because of all of the things that have happened. Nevertheless, there is a route for grey and beige to get to green on their own. First they would need to have a talk with the Most High to be purged of red. Then they will have to prove to the Most High they are worthy. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. Only then can they make it to green.

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  • Color Blue

    The feeling of the color blue

    Blue Is Not What It Seems

     Healing is blue to me. Therefore I think the color blue deserves a second chance. I love the color blue. After all, blue is the color of the sky and resembles the ocean. The color is so calming. I wonder how a term for sadness became “feeling blue”. In my opinion it should be called “feeling red or grey”. Red is the color of blood which is not a peaceful thing to think about. Not knowing my worth was the color red for me. I didn’t just become a person of morals and spiritual conviction overnight.

    Subconsciously Worthless

    There was a time when I subconsciously thought I deserved nothing. No apology for being mistreated. No food if there were two plates and three people. Short of no say on how I should be treated. Nevertheless, I didn’t know that I was doing these things. It was all subconscious because if I had known I would have stopped it. I have never been afraid to defend myself. However when it came to me I had no standards. Which is weird because when it came to others I would defend them even if I had to stand alone.

    Punishing Yourself

    For all of that I taught people that I was a tool to be used. Through me not loving myself I gave others who use your weakness against you permission to mistreat me. No I am no angel I have hurt people also, but I learned from it. I made amends by choosing not to be that person; but I never forgave myself. Still, I was extremely selfish up until around the age of 21. Life was lived day to day not thinking about the trespasses of yesterday or the consequences that were ahead of me. Life was red for me and I hit many rock bottoms to get to blue.

    Thinking They Got Away With It

    One thing that I can say is that a lot of times I learned from my mistakes. Which is how I became a person that I can be happy with today. Through the years of me learning that I also deserve to be treated fairly I have noticed a strange thing about people. I’ve learned that when a person hurts you and you don’t address it; they feel as if they did no wrong. If you dare to separate yourself or decline their request because of their record of manipulation, they feel wronged. It is as if they truly think that what they did is not a factor in your decision.

    Accountability Test

    See when I was wrong I knew why I was being told no. That’s how I learned from it through accountability. My grandmother’s are who I hurt the worst. The two people in my life who were there for me. I almost want to cry just thinking that I hurt these two beautiful people. How did I become a genuinely decent person you ask? I was given the whooping of my life by my bad decisions and the Most High. Everything was taken from me. I was thrown in a hole so deep that it was utter darkness.

    Growing Through The Pain

    While I was sitting at the bottom of the pit I had time to truly reflect on who I wanted to be. So I started climbing and climbing and climbing until I reached the surface again. While climbing I picked up so much armor I didn’t even recognize myself. I couldn’t have done it without the almighty Yah. Although it was hard I abandoned red and met the color blue. I still am not good at saying you hurt me. Although I don’t allow myself to be mistreated; I tend to ghost anyone who I feel hurt me. I don’t like to talk about it. Anytime that I have told most people what hurts me it is used against me.

    Romans 5:3-5King James Version

    And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

    And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

    And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

    My Love Verbs To You

    I share this because I want you to remember to value others but don’t forget about you. Don’t punish yourself forever for the past. With true repentance you deserve a second chance. People who you hurt in the past may not give you a second chance. Although things are that way, they also deserve their space to heal. If that means that you can’t be a part of their life, love them enough to apologize and give them their space. Once you do that forgive yourself. Don’t let nobody tell you that you deserve to be treated less than a human. Love yourself, you are worth a second chance. Let red be a thing of the past; you deserve to feel blue.

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  • New is In The Air

    New is in the air

    Something Feels New

    Today is the shape of new-ness. I can feel something new is in the air. Something that is better and peace colors the lines of the circle. This new thing that I feel lets me know that all will be okay. Today’s shape is a full circle. It is a floating circle on a destination to something good. I imagine it in my mind as a beautiful day with the sun at the perfect angle followed by a light breeze. The city is beautiful and everyone has a destination. Mine is not totally clear; but I am walking in the right direction to get there.

    All Of The Necessary Strides

    I make all of the strides necessary to make it to the new and beautiful destination. Although at times I feel a little nervousness in my belly; a force greater than me places one foot in front of the other. It is like a maze that has different levels. Every time I reach a new level it proves that the work is necessary. I love the work and new discoveries. When new is in the air; I love jumping right in and breaking down the walls of the fear of the unknown. Of course that is with the use of discretion of whether it’s a wall worth breaking.

    Putting One Foot In Front Of The Other

    There are so many things that I have learned from simply putting one foot in front of the other. Also willing to accept what is and what is not. With that I determine if “what is” and “what is not” is truly what the term says. The truth never lies and a lie always has holes in the story. I am also learning on this new destination to trust what is revealed is the truth and don’t question your gut. If everything else lies your gut is always telling you the truth. The almighty gives us this ability to steer us and save us from snares.

    Choosing Which Way To Walk

    Not all snares are bad, some are necessary but only when your mind is set on following the right direction of the destination. You may know that you need to walk another way but there are multiple options. So you choose one. You may start walking and someone who could be viewed as a snare tells you that the best way to get there is through the route that you were already going before you rerouted. At first you deny their suggestion because deep down you know that their intentions are not good. It can be confusing when new is in the air because there are risk involved.

    Staying True To Your Destination

    Somehow they managed to convince you to go that route. There is often trial and error when new is in the air. Although you went along you know that you are only going to get to where you really want to go. So you won’t allow yourself to be distracted when you walk through this place. There is no stopping you from getting to the goal. When you get there they tell you “well you’re here so you might as well stay”. In spite of that your mind is already made up and you refuse and then someone comes as a guide and tells you exactly how to get to where you are going. You can feel it in your heart that they are honest.

    Remain Free Of Distractions

    It feels as if the Most High himself placed the voice of guidance in that person at that moment. You never would have got that information had the person who was the snare had not told you to go back the other way. If you were not determined to get to the right destination you would have stayed when the people told you to “stay there is comfort here”. If you had agreed to stay, the voice of guidance would have never arrived. With that being said you need to be free of distractions and determined to make it to the new destination. Once you know this, not even a snare can stop you. The Most High will use every snare to get you to the next level. It is up to you to stay committed and trust the process.

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  • Today Is Warm and Fuzzy

    Toady is warm and fuzzy  blog

    Today Is Warm & Fuzzy

    Today is warm and fuzzy. The day feels mellow and smells sweet. There is laughter in the atmosphere. Even so, the voices coming from my peers are as beautiful as chimes. All the same my pets are feeling really cozy and snuggled. In addition, the windows let in a nice breeze and the beautiful lighting from the sun enters the rooms. As I feel so happy inside; I can feel the joy in my belly. Furthermore when I awakened I just wanted to roll around in the bed wrapped in blankets like a joyful child that has no stress in the world. Although I have adult struggles at this moment they are in the distance. This moment is so peaceful. I cherish days like these. Furthermore I imagine new ventures that resemble a warm sunny day when the sun feels perfect on your skin. I look around at all of the faces and everyone seems relaxed. What’s more is I dropped my brittle brand new item on the hard floor and it just bounced around and landed as if it was on air. I just feel free in my mind and spirit in this moment. Today is perfect in peace. Today is warm and fuzzy.

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